Est. 1985
A script that generates latin phrases

This webbed site is best viewed on a larger screen, such as a personal computer or digital tablet.
Home •
 •
 •
 •
 •
a dadvice sidebar header

Abuse Admin Animals Birthdays Body image Career Children Communication Cooking Dad Lore Death Family Fashion Friendship HBTQ+ History Life skills Mental Health Philosophy Relationships Romance

A dadvice sidebar footer

045 – In a Bind

Hello kids! We're already a month into the New Year! Time sure flies, huh? I hope you're safe and warm out there, wherever you are! Today's question is from Isaiah. Isaiah asks... Isaiah: I am a closeted trans man and I was wondering if you had any advice on chest binders and dealing with dysphoria? I sort of talked about this back in Episode 40* but it never hurts to go over it again! Unfortunately, I have no experience of wearing a binder so I can only tell you what an internet search would tell you: Get the right size, don’t wear it for too long, be careful so you don’t injure yourself! If I have any readers who use a binder, please share your experiences in the comments!  There are many other ways to strengthen your gender expression. Wearing clothes that give you a more masculine silhouette is one of the more available options. You may be drawn to bulky clothes that hide the shape of your body, but that’s not always the best solution. What you want to do is create an illusion. When I dress more masc, I gravitate to dark button up shirts that draw attention to my clavicles – not my chesticles. And wearing pants that sit on your hips rather than your waist can give the illusion of a longer torso and less curves. What works depends a lot on your height and shape. Experiment! The most important thing is that you feel comfortable. Which brings us to my final point: working with dysphoria. I want to give all of you a challenge, regardless of what gender you are.  What does it mean to you to be that gender? _How_ are you that gender? What makes you _feel_ like that gender? Let that sit with you for a moment. Consider it, thoroughly. All of us live under societal pressure to conform to something. No one is truly safe. We all have prejudices about what a person should look like to fit a certain mold. Despite my best efforts I often catch myself thinking: “oh, that’s not very manly” or  “she doesn’t look feminine.” This is the real work, should you be willing to do it. Examine your preconceptions and interrogate them. Because the truth is, there is no ideal. It’s all made up. Cis men have breasts and large butts. Cis women have beards and broad shoulders. Some cis women are taller than cis men. Attaching your gender to what society thinks is dangerous. For instance, some people believe women are defined by being able to give birth. So what happens if you’re sterile? If you get surgery, if you — Freja forbid — grow old? Are you kicked out of the Cisterhood the moment you hit menopause? Not to mention, every single one of us already do a gender transition at least once in our lives. Being a child is not the same as being an adult. Our teens and young adult years are all about redefining our gender, even for cis people! Dysphoria is absolutely real. I don’t think it’d be as brutal if our society was less strict with how we categorize people. That’s it for today, kiddos. Time for me to get back to the comic mines. Much like a duck, there’s plenty of activity under the surface even if I don’t have much to show for it yet. Until next time! Love you, kiddo!