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033 – It’s Kids O’Clock

Hello, kiddos! Nice day for a question! Let's jump in! Scribaroo: I was very fortunate to meet a guy in college and we've been together happily for 11.5 years! Any dadvice on ever knowing if it's the 'correct time' for children ... I like where we are, but also am very conscious of us aging (not much of a concern cuz i want to adopt) but its still a worry. Before we get into it, I want to talk about my own feelings about this. When I was five or six, I felt very much that I didn't want children of my own. I didn't understand kids my own age, I didn't like spending time with them, and I couldn't imagine being a parent. NOTE: I had to rewrite this to avoid filters. The internet is broken. When I was a little older, I set a deadline for myself. If I didn't want them by age thirty, I wasn't going to have them. I turn 40 next year and aside from one weird afternoon in 2011, I haven't changed my mind one inch. I'm telling you this so you know my background, and can make a decision on whether to listen to me or not. The decision to have kids is a very personal one - and not one to be taken lightly. Despite this, there's this idea that most people want kids and if they don't, they'll change their minds. This goes double for those of us who are seen as women. I've been told there's something physically wrong with me, because I don't want kids. All this is to say, this is a difficult decision that a lot of people think they have a say in. Which can make it harder to work out what you actually want. So here are some questions you can ask yourself to work out where you're at in life. Are you prepared financially and - most importantly - emotionally to raise a child? Do you have a support system that can help you when you need a break? Being a parent is stressful enough as it is. If you don't have a way to unload, destress and take care of yourself, it'll be near impossible to be a good parent and deal with other problems in your life. Do you have anything you want to do that will be difficult or impossible with a child? Are you ready to leave your old life behind? Because the moment you have a kid... everything will change. This is a good thing. You're taking on a huge responsibility. This is important work. And if you don't feel like you're there yet? It's not the right time. You can't go back once you've got a kid. There's also ways to have children in your life, without having your own. Nieces, nephews, niblings, kids of friends and neighbours. I have a friend who loves kids and would be a fantastic mom. But she decided she didn't want kids, and now she's a daycare teacher! Whatever you decide, it's your decision based on your situation. Don't let anyone push you, in any direction. Good luck! I love you!