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032 – Romance Dichotomy

Hello, kiddos. Let's have a little chat. Muchop: I always wanted a partner but sometimes I feel like I don’t want one. I don’t know what to feel. I want to be cuddled and have someone to talk to about deep meaningful things of life, but then I also want to be alone and not talk at all because I don’t want to use my energy to make up conversations to not make it awkward. I’ve been happy with myself at times and other times I feel like I have made no progress at all. I feel there’s no in between… What should I do, Dad? Hm... I'm going to come back to your question in a moment. There's something else I need to talk about first. When we talk about life, we like to make things simple. It's this or that. One side or the other. When really, there are no true dichotomies when you dig down into it. Even yes and no questions don’t really get a real answer if we treat them as absolutes. 'Are you hungry?' is a question that wants a yes or no answer. But there are hundreds of answers in between 'I just ate a whole submarine' and 'I'm starving to death'. Maybe you're not hungry-hungry, but you could go for a sandwich or a coffee. Maybe you just ate, but there's room for chocolate. Maybe you don't feel hungry, but you should probably eat something soon. Is it raining if it's only a drizzle? Can you say 'yes' if someone asks if you're asleep? Do you have kids even if they're not related to you? Dichotomies make our lives harder and less interesting. And I think it forces us to answer questions that aren't asked properly. When it comes to relationships, I find it more helpful to think about your needs and then finding someone who matches them. Because the truth is, you're far from the only one who feels this way. Plenty of people want a relationship, but not all the time. We just don't talk about it because we believe it's either or! But nothing is either or! It's everything everywhere all at once! The ways in which you can fulfil your romantic, intimate and social needs are endless... A single partner or several, a part-time romance, platonic friends, pets, family... The key is finding people who want what you want. And cone you do, there are no awkward silences. They're just silences.
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