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023 – Support System

Let’s dig into another question! This one is from bigbirb BigBirb: How can I support someone going through something I really don’t understand? And vice versa: how do I get support for something that other folks don’t relate to? This is a really good question that I think a lot of people can relate to. Support is the very backbone of human existence — to be seen and heard, in good times and bad.  And yet, it can be so difficult. We want to say the right thing. Or, we want others to be there in the way we need them. Let’s start with the first part of your question and ask ourselves: Do I need to understand the problem in order to give support to this person? A lot of the time, being there for someone, listening to their problems and helping them in whatever way you can is enough.  If you don’t know what to do, ask them what they need. Do they want to vent? Do they need someone to help them with practical things, like cooking or cleaning? Do they need a distraction to get their mind off the problem?  Showing that you are there for them on their terms is the greatest thing you can do, I believe. Sometimes, knowing you’re not facing something on your own can be enough to buckle down and get through it.  As for getting support... well, it’s all about communication. We have needs, both emotional and practical. Voicing those needs make it easier for others to help us. I know this can be difficult. I was really bad at telling people when I needed help or support up until just recently. But I believe we are here to help each other. If you don’t understand the problem, be there anyway. And if you don’t think others will understand your problem, break it down into smaller pieces. They don’t need all the details. You can just tell them you’re scared about something, or stressed out, or that you need help while you’re dealing with it. Communication is everything, in every situation. If we can talk to each other, calmly and with an open heart, then there’s nothing we can’t solve. I hoped that helped a little. I love you, kiddo. See you soon.