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049 – Anxiety Methods

Hello, kiddos! As you know, some of the questions I get are a little more difficult to answer. Sometimes it's a sensitive subject, and other times it's so big and broad that it's hard to cover it all. And other times, it's both. I have a handful of those questions that have been waiting for far too long.It's time we deal with them. For the next few episodes, we're in for a mental health trilogy: Anxiety, Depression and Body Image. If you need to tap out, skip a few episodes, take a break — do it. Take care of yourself. I'll be here when you're ready to come back. Neon Leon: What is one of the ways you have helped yourself with anxiety? Zuko but Gay: How do I stop feeling scared? I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings. Dad, how can I be okay again? Let's establish something right away: therapy and medication is always an option you should consider. Mental health is in no way separate from physical health. Your brain is a part of your body. There are many situations that *cannot* be solved without medical treatment. That's just a fact. If you are so anxious that it affects your life this much, you need to ask for help. You just have to. You shouldn't white knuckle your way out of this. I say this as someone who *has* white knuckled their way through anxiety far too many times. The reason I don't talk about therapy or medication is because it has never been available to me, for different reasons. I don't have personal experience, so I can't say too much about it. But if it IS available to you, use it. Take all the help you can get. If your parents are a source of anxiety, find someone else. Contact a help line. Ask a friend. You are so strong already, dealing with this. Anxiety can be devastating. I love you, and I believe you can do this. Please be brave, just for a moment. Getting help can take time, so let's discuss some methods that have helped me in a pinch. I've had periods of general anxiety, as well as full blown panic attacks. What helps one, may not help the other. If you feel anxious and restless, motion can help with that antsy energy. Walking, dancing, shadow boxing, jiggling about like a worm, whatever your body wants to do. When I had bad panic attacks, the only thing that really worked was going for an hour long walk and completely tire myself out. I also did 200 situps every morning and that took the edge off more long term. Unfortunately, exercise has some benefits. If you feel more anxious and unsafe, a heavy blanket or weighted duvet may help. I find this can really calm me down when I'm shaking like a dog in a thunder storm. When I get anxious, I usually have a hard time regulating my body temperature. Taking off my jacket in winter, drinking something cold, running cool water over my wrists... ...it all helps. In general, trying to cool down the places where there are a lot of blood vessels close to the surface helps if you're ever overheating. Feet, wrists, neck. Sternum if you can. But say you're on a bus or something and you don't have access to running water or blankets or punches. Breathing is an old classic. Slow, deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Some people swear by counting things to center yourself: four things you can see, five things you can hear. That stuff just makes me *more* anxious, but maybe it works for you? One thing that does help when my mind is all over the place is trying to remember something difficult. A poem, a song lyric, something you can memorize. It forces you to think about something else, which can help break the anxious spiral. The Lord's Prayer was my go to for many years, not for religious reasons but because of the rhythm. The Litany of Fear was made for this, but you can pick any text that you like and that requires some thought. Or try to remember all of Shrek, from start to finish! Listening to a song that soothes or puts you in a particular mood can also help. One summer, I listened to 'Flash' by Queen whenever I was getting nervous. Having something to fidget with is also worth trying. A hair tie around your wrist you can snap, a ring you can twist, a rock in your pocket to rub your thumb against. Or maybe you respond better to taste! For a while, I’d carry these strong mints and if I felt anxious I’d take one and it would just blow my whole head out! No thoughts! Only mint!!! As you can see, most of these things have one thing in common: sensory input. When I get anxious, I get stuck in my head. Any method that helps me get out of there is a method worth trying. And... here's a weird trick, but it's worked for me for four decades. If you can't get out of your head, turn it into someone else's head. This works better if you're anxious about a specific thing - a job interview, a presentation, that sort of thing. Pretend you're a person who can do these things. I work under a pen name for a reason: if I used my legal name, I would be too scared to do the work. But Your Dad? Your Dad can do anything. We have now reached the second part of the episode: figuring out what the heck is going on. What, you thought I'd give practical advice and then bounce? No way. Understanding what's happening to us goes a really long way in not letting our anxiety control us. When you're in a good space, ask yourself a couple of questions. When do you feel anxious? Is it all the time, or in certain situations? Is it triggered by certain people? If you always feel anxious and you can't really figure out why, chances are your body chemistry is off. That may require medication. But if your anxiety is tied to situations or people, you can dig a little deeper. What's happening in those situations that makes you anxious? Is it normal to be anxious then, or not? For example, if you're anxious at work, is it because of the environment? Or are you insecure about yourself? It's a lot of work and I could keep this comic going forever detailing the nuances. I hope I've given you a starting point at least. Life is an exploration! Speaking of... before I go, there's one more thing I want to ask you. Are you sure it's anxiety? As it happens, I learned something fun a while ago. Autistic burnout or sensory overload share a lot of symptoms with anxiety. In 2022, I took an art history class at Stockholm University. It was... bad*. Afterward, I felt really anxious for a long time. None of my methods worked very well. *There's a year long vlog about it on my Youtube channel if you want to see me descend into garbage. So if you're experiencing sustained anxiety and suspect you're on the spectrum... That might be it. Do you have any tips or tricks for easing anxiety on the go? What do you do to calm down? Next time: depression. I love you, kiddo.