Est. 1985
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040 – A Matter of Transition

Hello kiddos. Today I'm going to clear up some stuff. Gender stuff. If you’re sensitive to talk about transitioning, give this one a skip. I’m not going to go into any gruesome medical details, but still. Choose your own path. Ozzie: Before you were able to medically transition or able to legally change your name how did you deal with the constant misgendering and dead naming? How did you deal with the feelings of dysphoria and how do you act when you're in a situation when you're confronted by someone who is transphobic? Cecil the Incel: I've known that I'm trans for about 9 years, but I have always been scared of transitioning. Can you tell me about your experience please? How might one decide if T and surgery are right for them? I'm worried I might have misled you. Yes, I am trans. But! I have not medically or legally transitioned in any way. No surgery. No hormones. No dead name. I am agender, which falls under the trans umbrella. Being agender means I have no strong feelings about gender one way or the other. So what would I transition... to? I feel the same, regardless if I present more feminine or masculine. It is ALL completely irrelevant to me and my experiences. Gender is a performance. I dress more masculine the same way I dress  more punk, or formal, or like an 18th century noble. My body is an agender body. It has always and will always be an agender body. No matter how people see me. It helps that I live in a country where the gender roles are a lot more fluid, and the people are a lot more afraid of confrontation. I’ve never dealt with transphobia or homophobia, so I don’t have any good advice on what to do. I’m sure it still happens here, it just hasn’t happened to me. As for dysphoria, I’ve had brief bouts of the stuff. About four years ago, I actually applied for gender affirming care to get top surgery. My chest is large in a way where binding is not really advisable. Three years later, when they finally got back to me, I replied actually, no thank you. I’d had a pretty important revelation while waiting. If I need top surgery to be less feminine, then I agree that breasts are something only women have. Which isn't true. Again, a strict gender binary had snuck up on me in the night! I wasn’t doing anyone any favours - least of all myself - by falling for that scam again!  That said, I understand that my opinion isn’t the norm. Even if I think all this gender anxiety is a little silly, I respect that it’s important to you and I will defend it to the ends of the world. So while I can’t give you much practical advice, I want to leave you with this. One: you are right. No one knows you or your situation better than you do. If you feel that a medical transition would help you, look into it. It’s a long process and if you realise it’s not for you along the way, you can stop. 'But there are risks!' Sure, but what doesn’t come with a risk? I don’t see people making that argument about child birth, or air travel. Two: people will be wrong about you. Let them. While it’s always good to be kind and give people a chance to learn and grow, it’s not your job to teach people who do not want to be taught. If someone is adamant about misgendering you, or using the wrong name, that says more about them than you. Being a bigot should be deeply embarrassing. It either means you’re scared, immature and gullible, or that you’re a grifter trying to get something by scaring other people. Bigotry is ultimately not about you. It’s about them. They’re just making it everyone else’s problem like a spoiled brat. One day we won’t have all this cisheteronormativity shoved down our throats, but until then you just gotta persevere. Outlive. Outlast. Refuse. Three: find people that make you happy. Friends, new family, a community. Online, offline, wherever you can get them. I’m a hermit with few friends, but just seeing people living their lives unapologetically is enough to give me a little boost. I’m going to cut myself off here. A year ago I promised a long essay on gender that I haven’t written yet, and I’m afraid I’ll write it in this comic if I’m not careful! One final thing before I go. Just to make it clear: the way I draw myself in this comic is a character, not a reflection of what I look like in real life. If you want a look at my Dad Inspiration, look up ‘Mike Wozniak Taskmaster’ and you’ll, uh. You'll see the vision. Okay, that’s it for this time! If you’re trans and got advice for your fellow trans siblings, please drop it in the comments! I love you, kiddo! Take care!

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