Est. 1985
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037 – Unacceptable

Content Warning

This comic contains conversations about ABUSE OF AN INTIMATE nature.

Hello, kiddos. I'm going to get right to it: this question is about abuse of an intimate nature. If that's too much for you, please skip this one. I'll see you next time. Take care of yourself. This topic is very important, but also tricky to talk about. I will try to be as direct as possible, but it may be more vague than you’re used to. I feel it’s more important that the comic actually stays up, even if I have to talk around the subject. I hope you understand. I’ve spoken to the question asker in private, and will not be posting their question directly. They also asked me to draw little distracting animal doodles, so that’s what I’ll do. CONTENT WARNING. This comic contains discussions of ABUSE of an intimate nature. Question: A person is being inappropriate with me. I don’t want to cause trouble. What do I do? I need you to know: this is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You are not responsible for this. I have not been abused in this way, but I was emotionally abused for large parts of my upbringing. Our experiences are not the same, but there are similarities. I understand the desire to not cause trouble, to not make a mess. I’m 40, and I only recently started letting go of the idea that I had to defend my abuser. It’s so easy to say they’re a good person the rest of the time, or that they don’t really mean it. That they were abused too, so they can’t help it. They can help it. No matter what they’ve been through, it’s their responsibility to not take it out on someone else. This is not your fault. I understand that it’s difficult to talk about. You may feel ashamed, or like it’s not so bad. Maybe you feel like you can handle it, and if you told someone the situation would get worse. All those feelings are valid. You still need to tell someone. If a person close to you is abusing you emotionally, physically and/or intimately, that person has already broken what you are trying to protect. If you cannot do it for yourself, do it for someone else. You may not be their only victim, now or in the future. If this person is a family member or close friend of the family, try to go to a third party first. Unfortunately, it’s common to not be believed if you tell your family one of them is abusing you. A teacher, a guidance counselor, a therapist or doctor, friends or the parents of friends — there is always someone you can tell. You don’t even have to find someone who can help, just someone who can get you the help you need. There are also phone lines you can call anonymously, if you need to talk to someone. I will post a couple of Swedish numbers in the author’s comment. Please post in the comments if your country has a similar service that you are comfortable sharing! Again, you did nothing wrong. This is not your fault. This should never have happened to you. You deserve to feel safe and protected. I hear you, and I believe you. I love you. I really do, even if I don’t know who you are. It’s not a joke when I say I think about my readers every day. You can always send me your questions, no matter how heavy they are. I’m happy to take on the weight. Take care of yourself, kiddo.