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018 – Transcontinental Parents

Hey kiddos! Time to dig into those questions again! JM Mezzo asks... Hi Dad, thank you for all the great advice! I have a question: can I get advice on meeting my partners parents (who live on the opposite side of the USA from me) for the first time? We're an LGBT couple and their parents are not very supportive, but would still like to meet me, help??? Oof. Meeting parents can be so stressful, even if they're the sweetest, most supportive people ever. We put so much pressure on first impressions, especially if a loved one is bringing in someone new. That said, I do think it's a good sign that they want to meet you. I don't want to make assumptions, but it could be that they're... trying? Your partner knows how to handle this best, but based on what you've told me I have some advice. The first being to go into this with a generous and open mindset. I've been in situations where I felt like I was about to be judged, or where I suspected the people I was about to meet didn't have the best impression of me, even if they didn't know me. That kind of vibe can make you anxious and defensive, if you're not careful. Take some time before the meeting to get your mindset right. If you go into this with the belief that it'll be a pleasant time, your chances of that happening are much bigger! Set the tone, be polite and attentive, ask them questions or offer to help out with the dishes. Don't try to impress them, but be the best version of yourself. Most of all, show them that you care about their child. Show them how happy you are together, how well you take care of each other. Give them a glimpse of the life you have together. If they still make a fuss, that's on them. It's their job to get over these silly hangups, not yours. They are grown people, and if the idea of their child being in a queer couple is too much for them, they have a lot of maturing to do. Stick by your partner. At the end of the day, you two still have each other. Their parents have nothing to do with your relationship. And hey, if it all goes pear shaped... at least you live on the other side of the country. I wish you all the luck in the world with this. Keep me updated on how it went! And even if they don't take to you right away, I will always love you and your partner. Until next time, kiddos!
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